Fairy-tale Heart

I've got to doubt the fairy-tales of my heart.  I've got a new passion that's driving me mad for this girl.  She's so beautiful, and sweet, and she just lives life.  She breaths in joy.  She has a gift, and I'd love to have her by my side for whatever crazy traveling I do when I get back from my mission.
note to self:  make preparations to travel before I go on a mission, so that I can not waste time when I get home.

I know god has blessed me with a gift to control my life.  He gave me guidelines, and a powerful Holy Ghost to guide me in every decision.  I can go anywhere, and can have any prosperous, amazing future I want.  As of right now I dream of a road trip with a girl and friends. Dancing on the rooftops of Paris (it doesn't have to be Paris, but it does sound romantic doesn't it?), living the the Marshall Islands for a couple months with brother Alek, there's so much I want to do!

Apparently the greatest happiness in this life comes from family.  Hm, well is it me or are a lot of families not particularly happy?  Just in my family we have all sorts of chaos, from my mom getting mad and yelling at my dad for things like not cleaning the carpet, to my Dad having to worry about all of our needy stuff like Tara's dating life and being successful in college, me being worthy for a mission, Marcus being an angry goober, and Molly being a spoiled princess. Sometimes I feel like we can hardly enjoy a vacation because there's so much arguing and fighting in our family.  And I know that a lot of families are the same.

I think we are doing family thing wrong. But what do I know?  Without sorrow, there is no happiness.  Jesus gave a parable of two certain debtors, and one owed 500 pence, the other 50.  Both were forgiven of their debts.  Who therefore, is more grateful?  If the greatest happiness in life comes from families, perhaps the most misery can come from them too.

So love isn't about happily ever after.  It's about moving forward and growing, just like everything else in God's plan.  I'm still terrified of marrying someone for all time and eternity.  What if I get sick of them? What if they get sick of me?